Refusing to Compare

We've all been in a situation when someone asks you a question about the quality of your life. Whether it's about how much you make, how big your house is, or how happy you are with your life. And the answer never seems to go well. When people ask that kind of question, they are trying to validate themselves. If you say that you're happy with your life, they get put down, but if you say that you aren't happy, you get put down. Then the selfless answer would be to say "I'm not happy with my life," but then you end up bringing yourself down.

But what if you could avoid that? An easy way to get out of that lose-lose question is to answer "I'm happy with my life" and continue on "and I think that you should be happy too." Although this seems like an unrelated answer to the question, the person that you're talking to knows why he/she is asking that question and will understand the answer. The person will probably pause and then they'll feel better about themselves and you will too. This is done by refusing to compare your life with other peoples.

Now let's take the other side of the question. A lot of times we'll find that we're asking questions that hurt other people and we don't even know it. Its a very easy habit that you can slip into and it can hurt your relationships at all levels.

Usually the best way to avoid these questions is to only ask the questions that you don't know the answer to, and the answer would help your life. And if it seems that the previous question about if the other person is happy will benefit your life, the answer is that it won't. It just won't. It builds the habit, and you'll just keep asking the same questions and you will get half of the people to make you feel better and the other half to make you feel worse. Try to avoid any of these questions for a week straight. You'll feel better about yourself in no time at all, and others will feel better around you.

If you have a bad memory and think that you'll forget if you've asked one of those questions, I'll share an easy tip for remembering if you did something. Get a rubber band from anywhere and put it on your left wrist. If you realize that you did the thing you're not supposed to do, then put it on your right wrist. Its a simple fool-proof way to remember if you did something. It can also work for anything that you're supposed to or not supposed to do, and you're not worried about the amount of times that you do it.

Have a great day!